Working for/with my brother and his company it seems as if there is always some sort of conflict going on. There is never a moment where he isn't yelling at someone for something that he does not agree with or simply because he just wants to. On this particular day we were working in a home in Chicago and my brother had tasked another worker, Chuy, and myself with finishing the tile in a bathroom and grouting it afterwards. I was to assist him in making cuts, grouting, and whatever else he needed. Where the conflict arose was with my brother having pre-expectations in how he had wanted the grout work to be finished. Since it was white wall tile, he expected the white grout to be smooth and even all around with no thick joints or pinholes. He had not expressed this beforehand for it was expected.
Since the grout work is supposedly the easiest thing to do and it was towards the end of the day, we simply rushed the job and didn't really double check our work because we just wanted to move on to the next task. From a distance, it looked perfectly fine to us. We figured that although it was not perfect, the untrained eye would not notice a thing. When my brother came up to inspect our work, he was completely disappointed and angry at us to say the least. He thought the work was complete and utter "shit", saying it was not passable and completely unacceptable. We argued that it was not really noticeable to anyone that did not have "tile eyes". This got him even more pissed off and caused him to really go off on us letting us know that that kind of work did not represent the quality of his company, we knew better and just did a rushed sloppy job, we were worthless, my younger sister could do a better job than us even without any prior knowledge, as soon as he found other workers we were both fired, and a ton of other nasty things. He then prompted us to remove all the grout work we had just done and do it all over again but right this time. Knowing how my brother is and acknowledging that he had a point, I did not take anything to heart and proceeded to follow his instructions and this time making sure I didn't slack off and did the work right.
As we were working we heard, "Hey dumbasses, come down here so I can show you how to properly do your job." A bit annoyed, I didn't question him and simply went down to see what he had to say and show me. After all, I had never really been trained properly. I had kinda learned grout work on my own by simply seeing how it was done as an observer. To my defense, that day I really was just being sloppy and did not do my best work.
My coworker and family friend Chuy still offended and humiliated by the recent ass chewing that we had just gotten, did not take lightly to my brother's somewhat sarcasm and questioning of his work. He fired back at my brother stating, "I know how to do my job, I don't need you to tell me or show me how to do it." To which my brother replied, "Obviously you don't because we wouldn't be having this conversation if you did or listened to me from the start." Chuy replied, "I don't need to take this shit from you" and left. Chuy being too prideful and still upset at the way my brother yelled at us, never admitted that my brother had a point. My brother being my brother, did not even think about apologizing for the tone he used on us and way in which he told us we had done a bad job, stating that there is no room for "pussies" like that in his company and anyone that had a problem with that could go join him. Things between them two never ended up getting resolved.
From my brother's perspective, I completely agree with him. We should have not slacked off and should have done the job right the first time. Our quality was not all there and at the end of the day, our work did not represent his company's par andexpectations. I see why he was upset and understand why he made us redo our work. From Chuy's perspective, I see why he left. He was not used to anyone speaking to him like my brother just had. And for him and others that aren't familiar with my brother's attitude, things like that pushes them to the breaking point. My brother could have definitely gone with a different nicer route about telling us that our work did not meet his expectations that would have prevented Chuy from leaving and making him realize that we really did drop the ball, but at the end of the day my brother is my brother. Those of us that realize this and understand that this is just how he is, learn to work and put up with him. We don't let him get to us and realize that if we just work to his expectations, everything will be fine at the end of the day and everyone will get paid. Having a common goal and working towards it is what is best for everyone.
At the end of the day we end up laughing it off and even end up giving him shit too, neither end taking what we say to the heart.
This is the second post where you talked about your brother threatening to hire somebody else. Did he eventually do that?
ReplyDeleteConflict within a family business may be different from conflict elsewhere. You and your brother have a relationship that predates you working for him. Was he like this outside of where he was your boss? It's hard for me to tell that reading what you wrote.
There is then the question of whether the entire incident was avoidable or if it was bound to happen. Somewhere in this piece you said you were never trained to do the grouting work. Did your brother know that? If so, why would he let you do it? That seems like a management mistake. On the other hand, you said you and Chuy were slacking off doing this work. Were there other times where you also slacked off but got away with it? If not, it is hard to understand why this happened.
I wonder if you and your brother were to sit in my classroom for a session and analyze this situation how this episode would be understood. The way you told the story, it seems odds that it happened.
He has not done so mainly because most of the good workers that can work for him currently work in the union. The way I'd see this happening is if one of the union workers gets laid off or if one of my cousins pushes him to the breaking point, which is a very probable to happen in the near future. I think this would be effective and would cause the rest of the workers to take him more seriously after that happens.
DeleteAs for grouting, I mentioned that to him while he was teaching me and he replied with, "It's not that hard, there's nothing to it." and proceeded to properly show me how it was done. After that, I never ended up messing up again.
That day we were simply in a rush and did a bad job overall. We try not to slack off since we know how the boss can get.
My brother tends to be a bit stubborn and a know it all so sitting down in a classroom environment for business tips seems very unlikely to happen.
I think family is an interesting dynamics to observe in the work place and conflicts between family members does seem inevitable. The source of this conflict seems to be a lack of communication on your brother's part because it was an understood expectation to him. There certainly can be a break down between a group when the leader does not communicate his goals properly and the workers do not receive these goals to be expectations.
ReplyDeleteI wonder if you could possibly not treat your brother the way you would treat a different boss because he is family. There is obviously private information that you share between each other and the other knows this information. I would argue this affects the dynamics as well.
Wow, this story was very intense. Family workplace conflicts and dynamics have always been interesting to me. I think it can get very messy when mixing business and personal relationships, but it can also be beneficial. I think that the communication on your brother's end seems to be what started this situation. I am curious about how your brother being your boss impacts how you deal with him at work vs. at home. Does it always feel like he has the upper hand at home? Does conflict at home carry over to the workplace?
ReplyDelete